Oct 18 2009
Going back to Ostia
To my dear Kev,
I’m walking along the Ostia beach. I drew a heart on the sand, but the wave earased it. And I don’t know who will wait for me at the end of this road, or I have to step on my own to reach to a desert.
I return here to watch the lonely sea
I return here to view the rows of gloomy trees
The sun is brightly shining
but I don’t feel warm enough.
The wind is gently blowing
whereas the typhoon in my soul becomes very tough.
I almost forget how fine the sand is
when you don’t walk over it with me.
The ice-cream seems less delicious than before
as you don’t have it with me any more.
Like a cloud, you drifted to the horizon and never come back.
Like a meteor, you grazed so fast that I couldn’t keep your track.
But you’re always in my heart
though the death does us apart.
Years ago, I still followed your journeys
But now, your shelter is full of lavenders.
Seeing that the sorrow makes me voiceless
knowing that I’m still waiting for a love letter,
the waves break steadily like your previous heartbeats
and the oaks send dead leaves to my shoulders.
My sweet memory,
Please take a peaceful sleep.
I bury my heart in your grave.
While I still have a lonesome life ahead to live.
I’ll be back whenever I need a strength to be brave.
But you’re still in my heart
though the death does us apart.
Too sad to be honest.
@->M.D : It’s not sad enough in fact. Anyway, don’t shout out a any word without thinking over.
My honey,
After reading your work, I wish I never knew you sothat I could appreciate it more. Comparing with your poems composed 7 years ago, I can say that now your technique is well forged, you seem have no problems in creating syllables, and the structure is very coherent. However, it’s still lacking of emotion and new breakthrough. The images are very beautiful, but not all new. The sand, the ice-cream, and even the trees are unwillingly used to cite Ostia, but it’s not necessary. The cloud, the meteor are rather common and popular. This poem would be failed if it wasn’t saved by “the grave covered by lavenders buries a heart”. Another important point, you’ve passed the pain, and don’t want to touch it again, so you try to lighten the sorrow, but how can the reader touch it if the writer doesn’t dare to face it?
I know it’s hard to revive a skill that you’ve given up for a long time, so I think it’s also good , though you still have to do many things to overpass youself.
PS: By the way, who is M.D? ( I hope that it’s not My Dan who never talks such a nonsense). “Too sad” -I won’t blame this remark if I know the speaker is a weak person. “be honest” -if he( she) knows nothing, it’d better to shut up. Well, don’t encounter this guy.
@->Jade: your comments are always sharp, I hope that they will sharpen my skill. You’re right, my emotions floated as they’re rather light. Thks alot.
PS : M.D is neither My Dan, nor my soulmate, so never mind.